Wednesday, February 17, 2010
As much as others surprise you, you can also surprise yourself
I have come to realize that all my life I have been a very spiritual person, but I have never considered myself religious. I think testing my will over the things I give up for Lent has lead me to become more religious. I have given up a lot of things since I was a teenager, I even fasted on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday on occasion when I was able to, but over the last 5 years I have come to want to be more religious.
I think it maybe a combination of a friend who was Greek Orthodox and she would remark how it doesn't seem right that Catholics have to choose what to give up when she had to give up eating all things with a spine, all dairy, eggs and overall a lot of things. Or maybe because I am turning 30 this year and I want less in material things and have come to enjoy people in general, especially my loved ones.
I know I can't commit myself to give up as much as my friend, but I'm already use to giving up my normal things like not eating all animals with feet and cheese. To add a little challenge this year, I decided to also give up salad dressing, since it seems to be a vice that hinders my weight loss at times.
And technically, I gave up 30 pounds and during Lent, I plan to give up another 12-15 pounds. It should be easier with the no meat, poultry, cheese and salad dressing intake. : ) I guess I'm somewhat surprised how a person has the ability to change themselves without realizing it, until that one moment you do.
I went to church and as I was praying after communion, it just hit me. I want to be more religious. I already know that God blessed me with so many things and maybe this realization is just another great blessing for me. Going to church just makes me feel good, almost cleansed in a way. I even like helping the elderly and giving up my end seat to them, but I pray for all my loved ones and the people I've lost, the people my mother has lost and I even threw in prayers for those who have slighted me in hopes that they learn how to treat people better.
Overall, I never expected to find myself at this point, but I guess that is the great thing about life. As much as others surprise you, you can also surprise yourself.